But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
