I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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