My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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