i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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