if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
