It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
