Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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