is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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