Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
