i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
