ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
