My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
