so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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