one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
