Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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