sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
whose parrot is this?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
