We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
