I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
