Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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