Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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