You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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