I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Life is so much better after having sex.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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