lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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