He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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