i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Randomize
