i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
