I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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