oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
