I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
