get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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