they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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