1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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