Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
