I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
