shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
