Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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