Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
