STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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