there's paper in my vomit.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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