Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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