Can i not drive my cunt home
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
