u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
