I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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