I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
