dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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