Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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