I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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