you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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