I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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