Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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