It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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